Scolding Loki
by Paint Me Violent
Summary: Mothers love their boys no matter what, and if they've gone rascal on Earth, then, of course, it is Olympians who are at blame.


Loki was enjoying himself too much for it to last. Everywhere around him the ground was trembling, large explosions rocking the foundations of many buildings here and there, fire nymphs twirling all around him and singing their own tune to which the element danced and shaped its flames. The wind was severe and the tornadoes, summoned by a simple gesture of his hand, were picking up the abandoned vehicles of humans with ease and grace that many much more conscious beings wouldn't have managed.

The little merry band of so-called heroes of Earth that were trying to stop him, wrecking their golden city, included Thor, an Aesir prince, which was frank cheating and Loki, upon noticing the flying red cloak, squinted his eyes at these strange and so out-of-fashion heroes and decided that today his darling friends Hermes and Eris could wait, while Loki put the self-titled Avengers through some of his more… advanced tricks.

It had been a good choice to come here to relieve some stress from running Chaos and being the sole Devil Advocate when time called for it. It was not nice, but time-consuming, downright exhausting and absolutely amazing, for Loki couldn't help but love causing mayhem and wrecking havoc upon whoever he got to first.

However, Bruce Banner in his Hulk mode got to him first and Loki… Loki smiled at the green man and offered him a just teleported out of the nearby store cotton candy.

"Don't be angry, Mr. Banner. I heard that constant anger reduces your chance to live to sixty without a heart attack by 40%."

The green man growled at him, "Puny. Talks. Much."

Loki furrowed his brows and looked at the alter-ego that called itself Hulk.

"Oh, poor dear, you are just an infant!"

And this little revelation of his was so exciting that Loki simply forgot himself. And paid dearly for that, when the beautiful rainbow light blinded him for a second and making his heart practically jump out of his rib cage, because he was totally and utterly screwed. And he didn't even compose a will.

Standing tall and straight as one of her many statues was a lean black-haired woman in a dress which seemed to be made of liquid silver. Her hands were crossed on her chest and her eyes were promising all the beauty of being tortured to death with hugs and agonizingly thorough lectures on _how you cannot go to other pantheon's spheres of interest without permission first_. It would be embarrassing. But he would not be the famed Silvertongue, if he couldn't weasel his way out of it.

"Oh, mama! You would never believe me if I told you I found a right person to care for!"

"Loki, how many times do your father and I need to tell you not to play with the Realm's mortals without permission?"

"But Mother, I found an exquisite being and you would…"

"And what is with all this havoc? Didn't we teach you manners, young man?"

"-And if I am to take this upon myself, I would become more responsible."

"Look at the poor humans, they are terrified 0f you! It is all the Aesir upbringing! Raising a God by their barbaric rules!"

"And the sheer amount of opportunities presented is astounding. Just imagine!"

"I am so going to teach Odin a lesson in how to properly bring up children! No wonder he has a son who is a princess!"

Loki sniggered silently and proceeded to fake a cough. Mission accomplished.

"Raising my baby to enjoy war mongering! Stealing my baby from me!"

Oh no. Not this again. Anything, but his mother breaking into a rant, because, while she was a formidable force to be reckoned with, she was a woman through and through, and it was so awkward for both Loki and his now-absent father that it had been one of the first things they bonded over, when hiding away in wine cupboards.

"But I have to give it to you, honey, that this tantrum is no less colorful than the last one. However, the Jotunheim Incident was truly majestic. No wonder you planned it for months! And the results were astonishing! And we finally found you because of it."

The woman gave a short sob and hugged him so tightly that for a second he forgot how to breathe, think and saw the world in black.

"My baby!"

"I'm thirteen," he managed to gasp out.

The woman pinched his cheek and took him by the hand, "And it reminds me! And you had enough fun on Earth. Besides, you have anger management classes in an hour and with the time it takes you to get ready for them, we have practically no time left. Say goodbye to your friends, dear."

"But I'm meeting with Hermes in three minutes!"

"With that rascal? No prince is going to associate with a thief! They are going to lead you to the dark side!"

"Mom, I was there way before them."

His mother looked mildly surprised, but it was not like she did not know about that, after all it was his beloved mother he took after in character. And let it be known that she could be terrifying when she wanted to be. And still all mothers were the same: they always thought that it was their sons who got mixed with the wrong crowd and not the other way around. Bless those women!

"Ma'am," they heard someone calling. When Loki turned around, he saw a man, who managed to remind him of both Heimdallr and Odin, which was odd and a little bit traumatizing.

"Yes?"

The man pointed at one of the smashed structures and asked, "Who is going to pay for all this destruction?"

"Mail the bill to Mount Olympus, they should have known better," his mother said, taking his hand. And both of them vanished.


End file.
